The HalfBlood Prince
by Rebeccah Wood
Summary: Severus saw everything happen before him, losing Lily as a friend, Lily marry that bloody jerk, Wormtail betray them, too long he let things just happen, he was going to protect her son,even if it killed him even if his father was a no good prat. one-shot


"Hey Sevy!! What's up?"

"Not much Lil, let's go do something."

So many days started this very way, Lily meeting Severus in the park half way between their houses, hanging out, having nothing else to do. They spent their summer days in muggle London. Sneaking into shows, knocking over pyramid can displays in the market, terrorizing the cats of poor Ms. Angie at the end of a Cul-de-sac near their houses, flying kites, brewing potions, or inventing spells, they never had a boring minute.

The two had fun together. They had been since the Evens had moved into the neighborhood. No one really understood their friendship, a bright happy red head, and the sulky shy boy, to any onlooker, the two didn't make sense, but to them, they were like peanut butter and jelly. Good alone, but better together.

At Hogwarts, it was hard, for Severus was in Slytherin, and Lily was in Gryffindor, not only was their friendship looked down upon, but the war outside of the walls of the castle said they should not be associating. He was in the Dark Arts, she was a muggle-born. They were told to stay apart, but fought to stay close.

There isn't much more to say, they stayed close for years. They made it through their mothers hating their closest friend. Conflicting houses, disastrous quidditch matches, mocking of fellow students, and the only support came from the last place that would help their cause, the professors. With their years at school based on becoming teachers' pets, there wasn't much time for others to like them, and being several floors away from each other, nights in the dormitories became horribly unbearable for the two of them.

Lily had a secret. Her best friend for years, Severus, was very misunderstood. But she loved him nonetheless. She had fallen, and fallen hard for his silly sulky boy. He had a brilliant sense of humor, extremely smart, and once you got to really know him, he was incredibly kind. She even told him, she loved him. Severus always knew she loved him

Severus would never say it back. She would have to leave, "Goodbye dear Sevy, I love you, see you tomorrow." But never once did he ever say it back. He knew he did. He knew there was no other girl that could ever take her place. She was with him always, but he wouldn't, just couldn't get it out of him to tell her he loved her too.

Then there were his Slytherin friends. How could he be a friend with a muggle-born Gryffindor? It was traitorous. The Dark Lord is rising; they had no use for unclean rot like her, no matter how pretty she was.

They had a problem with her whole existence. She was unworthy of the time and space she took up. Her filthy mudblood self was quite a nuisance.

Lily was his best friend for most of his life, but he really didn't see how they could continue being friends.

Severus had done it now. She was there for him, stood up for him to the biggest of prats, and he had called her a mudblood. He didn't need her unworthy help. But even as he said it, he knew it hurt, knew it hurt deep, and could never be fixed.

She wasn't good enough for Severus. He had broken her heart, she would have loved him forever, there for him until the end, but the Dark Lord had said she wasn't good enough for him. The Dark Lord said she wasn't important. So he left her. Left her to fend for herself. Love wasn't needed, especially a mudbloods love. He could give up his love for her. He didn't need it.

He had it good. He was smart, he was working for the most powerful man of his time, and he was trusted by him. He was needed. He was important.

He was doing well, but he missed his friend. He had loved her after all, and what had he ditched her for?

_**  
**_  
A life time of service to a powerful man, who didn't care an inch of his followers and didn't care what happened to them once they were no longer useful. He missed his one true friend, the one he had turned away. Had he only told her he loved her. Had they only been in Hufflepuff together, that very moment they would be together forever, with a baby on the way, in a nice little house reminiscing about the times they had when they were younger.

He was a death eater. Five years later everything was the same. Nothing changed. Destroy, demolish, and kill, that's all there was to his life. What got him through the day was remembering the names of Ms. Angie's cats and running around muggle London with his long lost red-headed friend.

One boring day had begun the same way, he opened the Daily Profit, and read it thoroughly, but there she was Lily Evens, only she wasn't Lily Evens.

_"Newly wedded Aurors James and Lily Potter are off to the Caribbean for their honeymoon..." _ Next to a large paragraph about how happy the couple was there was a picture of the two, on their wedding day. She stared lovingly into the jerks eyes. But he recognized that look. It was how she used to look at him. The look she gave after he figured out the last part of a spell they were creating, the look he got when they had been running away from the muggle London Police, the look he gave up for an evil dictator.

Of all of the people who teased, taunted, antagonized their friendship it was James bloody Potter that was the worst. All the names and all the torture, she had been there for him through it all, until that one time he had thrown it all away. And she went off and married him. Though, could he really blame her? James was just as intelligent as he, and just as good looking, but what Potter had that he didn't was the courage to be who he wanted without the need to be important or successful. He didn't need a master.

His _Master _already knew. Of course he knew. He bloody knew everything. The pair of them gave hope. The hope and light that the other side needed. The hope and light that there was a way for happiness to prevail. The hope that the Dark Lord and been looking out for. The hope and light that the Dark Lord would demolish next.

Oh yes, these two were on the top of the hit list. There was no way around it they were to be out of the way as soon as possible. Severus went along, for he was bitter. The James Potter was the bane of his existence, and now she was married to him. Well she meant nothing to him either. What was so great about her anyways, she had nothing for him now. She meant nothing to him. She _had_ his best friend, but not anymore, there was nothing he could do about it. They had chosen different paths, and now he had to realize that they were working against each other, there was no hope, he couldn't hold on to the past any longer.

He had left her and there was no point going back now.

She wasn't good enough for him. She was with that prat Potter

I am trusted by the most powerful dark wizard of our time.

But she was the hope and light of the other side

Which was more important? Which one had become more valuable? We will just see about that.

She could be the hope and the light of the other side all she wants, but I just heard a prophecy, the one who can vanquish the Dark Lord, HA! We'll see what the hope and the light has to say when The Dark Lord defeats this challenger.

The Dark Lord found it very interesting Lily! How are you going to bring hope to the world now? I am going to win this one. You can marry anyone you want, but when your side loses, we'll see which guy was best for you. You'll be wishing I was here to save you. Well I wont. You filthy little Mudblood.

No. no. no. This wasn't what I meant. I do love you Lily, I was, no see. I just heard that someone who could vanquish the Dark Lord, Lily. Why is it your son? They are really coming after you now. I hope you know that. If I hadn't been so self absorbed… Lily you loved me! I loved you! You trusted me, not only did I throw that away, but now I've practically killed you too.

You just keep going, like a "hope and light" should, you're not afraid. I admire that. You were always braver than I. Now it just proves it huh?

I am so sorry. I finally understand what I threw away all those years ago, and now that I hardly know you anymore, and I am so lost, but it is you Lily that has made me realize what is right and wrong. I told Dumbledor to tell you, and only you, it was me who told you to go in hiding. I hope you forgive me, and even now as the Dark Lord is after you, I love you, I am so sorry. I am a spy for Dumbledor now. I know nothing can make up our friendship, but I do hope this shows that you were right, and that I am very very sorry.

Your secret keeper was Peter? PETER PETEGREW?!?! Even if you hadn't known he was a death eater, you knew he was weak? We made fun of it for years! It was that Potters idea wasn't it? He put you up to this, and now you are gone. Long gone, no way for me to ever see you again. I will put flowers on your grave for the rest of my life, some how I will avenge your death.

Your son survived? How is that possible? I don't understand. He is only one. How could? I asked Dumbledor to raise him for you, but of course he won't let me, he said if a death eater were to raise the one who vanquished the Dark Lord, people would be in outraged. I have failed you again because of this stupid decision. Oh! If you were only here as well, I could officially apologize. I swear to you I will make it up to you. I will protect your son in every way I can.

I just met your Harry. Did you ever tell your James-ey poo you named his son after the name I use to use in ever game we played when we were in primary school? The name that I would go by when ever we pretended we became famous, because Harry is such a common name that for it to become famous would be contradictory? I guess not, we didn't much get along, he wouldn't have agreed to it then? Does that mean you still were my friend? If I had indeed tried to contact you, you wouldn't have cursed me into oblivion? Thank you for making my dream come true though, having a famous Harry. But honestly Lily he looks just like him. That bloody jerk that lived out my dreams with you. He's got your eyes though. The eyes I can still see when I dream. Even if he acts just like the prat that was his father, he's got some of you in him to, his uncanny ability to figure things out that most students shouldn't. That reminds me so much of you. And those eyes. AGH. Those eyes glaring at me. I don't blame you for having them glare at me. I am the one who caused all this to happen anyways.

I've protected him from Quirrell, from being blamed of the chamber, from that retched Sirius Black, I kept an eye out for him during the tri-wizard cup, I tried to teach him occlumancey, I challenged him in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and now as he is so close to vanquishing the Dark Lord, like we found out so many years ago, as I am dying here, looking into his eyes, your eyes, I showed him our memories, the ones of us meeting, I've showed him everything. Maybe he will understand, and your eyes through your son will understand me, and not glare anymore. He'll understand just like you did Lily. I am sorry I cannot protect him as he goes into his hardest feat yet. I tried Lily, after all these years, I hope I have become clean in your sons eyes, in your eyes.

I love you Lily Evens. Hopefully I will see you on the other side.


End file.
